On this day of renewal, of the return of light and lengthening of days, I am reminded that I am nothing.  I am reminded that I never will be anything, that I never can be anything.  I am reminded that if I am anything at all, I am Wrong.  Not what I say or what I do; not how I dress or the name I use; no, I am Wrong.  My very existence is an abomination.  I am reminded that, no matter what I do, the worst characteristics assigned to me — things I am not and things I have not done but are assigned to me anyway — will always be with me.

Tonight, when I lay upon a mattress on the floor in space I sublease in my own apartment, I will ask Santa Claus one more time to intercede on my behalf, to ask doG to end my life.  If all else is denied me, I ask this one thing, because if I do not exist, I cannot be hurt.

Please, whoever may be listening, let me die tonight.